behind blue eyes

Fri, 10 Feb 2006 15:32:12 GMT

ugh. in the library scanning my life away. thank goodness for veronica my trusty ipod. she saves my life. boys are stupid throw rocks at them. who thought college would breed so much drama. for some reason ive fallen into the misconcepted idea that sleep will make me forget everything. WRONG. even lying in my bed last night listening to boys to men didnt cure anything. screw you seth cohen for making me think it could. i was strangly mislead. whoever thought girls were the only ones who brought drama to a situation was also wrong. guys bring just as much to the table. never did i think college would have so much freakin drama from suitemates to just guy friends. screw them all. im like stuck in a battle between my good and evil self. you know theres a problem when not even fall out boy can cure your un-happy-miserable-please-let-me-go-home mood. its like spell im stuck under. grrrr.

Thu, 22 Dec 2005 17:55:36 GMT

so last night marks the last time i talked to my dad. for how long you might ask... oh I'd say about 5 seconds. did he talk back? not exactly.

oooh geez<3

Wed, 12 Oct 2005 23:59:32 GMT

If you're from Upstate NY, READ THIS!
Ways you can tell that you're really from Upstate NY:

1. Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway

2. "Vacation" means going to Syracuse for the weekend

3. You measure distance in hours

4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once

5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day

6. You use a down comforter in the summer

7. You drive at 65 mph through 13 feet of show during a raging blizzard without flinching

8. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events

9. You install security lights on your house and garage but leave both unlocked

10. You think the major food groups as deer meat, beer, fish and berries

11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them

12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at the supermarket at any given time

13. You design your kid's Halloween costume over their snowsuit

14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow

15. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajama's

16. You know 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, construction

17. It takes you 2 hours to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town

REPOST THIS if you actually understand all these and that you are truely from Upstate NY!!!

Sun, 02 Oct 2005 16:14:50 GMT

too many boys.
soo little time.
pooor pooor ryan.
the whole situation is just such a mess.
huge misunderstanding and miscommunication.
grrr.
idk whether im attracted the the boy or just another cheezy school girl crush.
haha
i developed my friend Greg's pictures yesterday from the night we went to CBGBs.
picture of me and ryan.
god. can even look at it.
im killing him on the inside.
let me quote kevin when he said "he could be hooking up with 20 other girls but hes waiting for you"
seriously. how horrible would that make anyone feel.
im just confused.
i need to go home and think.
should help.
i mean hes the nicest boy on the planet.
hes cute as a button.
and he likes me MUCHO.
everytime he seems he i swear he cant help but smile.
hahaha
im irresistable.
wow.
never thought id put myself in a category like that.
teehee.
ok enough for that rant.
give me advice people in LJ world.

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 15:39:19 GMT

seriously. SO in love with this boy.
i cant explain it. its like the notebook kinda love story.
i love it.
im just so happy around him.
freakin amazing.
and then Yvonne who lives in the other dorms text me last nite
"i heard from a reliable source that he really likes you and talks about you all the time"

for the record. were not dating. YET. haha
according to kevin we'll be dating for 2 years. kevin will become his best friend. and then confess to him all the bad things ive done in the past 4 weeks.

god. i love this boy.
tee hee

<3

its nice to know im talked about or thought about ALL THE TIME. haha im a loser.

Sat, 24 Sep 2005 08:00:55 GMT

commonly used phrases at the club tonite:
"you so sexy mami"
"can i have your #"
"whats your name again"
"whats your nationality"
"omg i know you from facebook"
"damn you so sexy"

my roomates
"holy shit i have 3 hickies and idk where they came from"
"i swear we almost got shot and mugged like 18 times"
"did i say that already?"
"i have to wake up in...4 hours"
"yeah so we almost got shot, mugged, murdered, killed, beatin up"
"so we walked through the streets of harlem and almost died like 5 times"

god. i love college.

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 12:13:28 GMT

im in love with a boy.
like for real this time.
literally the can't eat, cant sleep. kinda thing.
how do i know?
i didnt sleep all night.
seriously. this boy just makes me so happy.
haha my moms gonna kill me
"i told you no boyfriends in college you need to focus on your studies"
what can i say.
i love this boy.

teehee.

Sat, 17 Sep 2005 23:39:15 GMT

so its officially monsooning in New Rochelle.
i was at the Diner with Nate Kevin and Phil and we looked out the window and yeah its insane.
now im back and were chillin in the darkness of our common room b/c my roomates are afraid of getting electricuted so all the lights are off and my laptop is runnin off battery.

yay for monsoons in college.
hahaha

Mon, 05 Sep 2005 01:13:03 GMT

theres nothing i hate more than knowing i want something so bad but then know in the end ill fuck it up. if your reading this your prolly thinking HUH? yeah well of course it has to do with a boy. when does it not. look who were talking about here. i love boys. theyre my favorite pasttime. but this one is just different b/c as much as i know ill end up fucking it up ill still have to see him all the time just like with Kevin. i can picture it in my head thats how strongly i know its gonna happen. ugh. and i hate jealousy. i get jealous over the simplest things. even if people dont mean it. but ill have to continue this one later. got major thinkin to do. goin to watch pearl harbor with allie. :)

yay. boys boys boys. who knows.

Sat, 27 Aug 2005 14:17:07 GMT

yeahh so i leave tomorrow. this week has been eh. yesterday kicked ass. i went to the state fair and took full advantage of being 18. and i was a responsible little girl and registered to vote :). then of course i visited the army tent and got my face painted in camoflauge just because it seemed like the thing to do at the moment. i felt special. i just needed to do something funny before i leave.

hahaha im a dork. but i love it. so yeah its hard to believe its my last day in the CUSE. ill miss my people and most of them left already and i didnt get to see them. ah well somehow things will work out. i cant wait to just go down and there and celebrate my 18 year old self. my roomates (all 7 of them) sound awesome and im so excited to meet them. yay.
haha so yeah me and diedre also counted fanny packs yesterday while we were waiting in line to see the elvis exhibit at the fair. 77 freakin fanny packs walked by. amazing. in like the span of 20 minutes before we stepped out of line because it was taking forever. was quite the accomplished day. haha

so yeah im at work the last day ever. thank god. and im still waiting to get my cash that is FAR over due. my aunts a bitch. gimme my money bitch. $130 were talkin here. if she doesnt pay me that...OFF WITH HER HEAD!

:( this is a bittersweet goodbye. but ill sure as hell be updating this thing like its my job on my beautiful laptop :). yay.

peace out 315... hello WESTCHESTER COUNTY. hahaha

Thu, 25 Aug 2005 04:41:48 GMT

YO BITCHES IN LIVEJOURNAL WORLD...
ITS 12:25AM AND its my motherfuckin 18th birthday woooooooo!
and im already psyched. and have to be up in 4 hours. and AAAAAAAAHHHHHH

i love my friends.

Sun, 21 Aug 2005 19:15:24 GMT

wow. last nite = undescribable.
perfect way to end a perdy crappy summer. me fresca mike john dave nick alex clare fran. wow. no matter how crazy my nights are in college this tops them. i mean playing music sleeping places at 3 am and sleeping with mike in daves bed listening to him snore and having him steal the blanket and me freezing my ass off. lemme just say INSANITY. and the pong was hilarious. i sucked so bad at first but i got pretty good pretty fast. i sank the last shot on one of the games after the guys made fun of me the whole time. they kept putting their hands out to catch the ball as if i was gonna miss the table. but i sank it.

haha im exhausted. i slept alittle last night until mikes cell phne alarm went off next to my ear at like 10:30. and the night before i got home from saras and got 4 hours of sleep. ugh. i need sleep. ill prolly have more funny stories to tell later.

Sat, 20 Aug 2005 15:13:24 GMT

"Skerdyahur"
hahahahaha man what a crazy night. i loved it. its was fabulous. I will miss MY GRACE :(. oh geez. 5 days till im 18 and 8 days till schooool. wooo.

Fri, 19 Aug 2005 19:00:50 GMT

frustrated. and the frustration is leading to anger and depression again. for once im actually nervous about school but it shouldnt last since im pretty excited. the excitement should overpower the nervousness. im kinda sad about leaving everyone but ive just grown not to care too. i never talk to anyone anymore besides people from my school anyway so its not a big deal.

ugh. im hoping this feeling fades in a few days.

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 21:17:14 GMT

Take the quiz: "What clothing store are you?"

Zumiez
You like a look all your own...you need you clothes to talk for you because your a little shy...with these clothes you can be your self...fudge abercrombie skanks!! jk

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 02:38:08 GMT

so yeah. got stood up by another stupid boy last nite. screw him. no laura i will NOT date him. i dont care if hes nice. then i woke up this morning after not being able to sleep for some odd reasons and tossing and turning till 3 am after having a nightmare that had something to do with a dead body. then i hung around painted more of the bathroom before my mom got home and then prepared to go shopping at the waterloo outlets with my aunt, cousin and sister. was quite the adventure. theyre all crazy. haha was a great girls day. so yeah the whole shopping thing was kinda sucky b/c everything was either expensive or ugly.... or both. but i got one cute outfit of these gray bermuda shorts and a pink cable knit sweater and $13 navy blue pants at aeropostale. those $13 pants set me on a high for awhile. i told the sales guy "you just made my day" b/c the entire store was 50% off but the pants were originally $39.50 so they would have been $20 not 13... but psh i was happy.
then in the parking lot these losers pulled in next to us and the woman on my side opened her door and hot the car and didnt say anything. we were like WTF so we took down there license plate and haha passed them on the thruway on the way home. LOSERS DONT MESS WITH THE RICANS. then we went to Fresnos before going to my aunts to drop off my sister and then i came home. my aunt came in the house to say hi to my mom but talked to my dad instead. idk why. hes dead weight. hes an asshole who doesnt wanna talk to anyone. ugh i hate him. anyway. we got chocolate. yay. was a good day. and im talking to cole again. i missed her. my week is filling up fast b/c everyone is leaving. Katie who ive been friends with since 1st grade and her parents are like my second parents.... leaves thursday. im actually really glad. she makes me sick. bitch. ugh. if anyone she makes me feel the most left out. rosie jags and gia are all at her house right now. my god wtf is gia thinking. he always falls for the wrong girl. thank god she'll be gone. gias like my brother im protective of him and girls. even tho fran and others have put me and him together as being compatible but idk i love him to death but cant really picture him right now as me and him being together. i mean people said the same thing about me and andrew and hes my best friend. but if anything were gonna happen with me and andrew it would have happened freshman year when he liked me alot until kim came along and that whole thing happened. sometimes makes me wonder what would have happened if me and him had dated. who knows if we'd still be best friends today. god i miss that boy. god damn new jersey.

ok i wrote alot more than i thought.

cheeeeezerific

Sun, 14 Aug 2005 02:13:42 GMT

FIRSTS.
First best friend: uhhh... either Chris who was also my boyfriend or Andrea
First car: i drive my moms minivan or my dads '89 camaro convertible
First crush: haha uhhh my boyfriend from preschool?
First date: i don't remember
First kiss: Chris? or maybe Tyler?
First screen name: hrc0825
First self purchased album: NSYNC?
First funeral: my g-mas :( last year.
First pets: my kitties. Sandy & Angel.
First piercing/tattoo: ears. when i was 10 then they got infected so i got em done again when i was....13?
First musician you remember hearing in your house: i dont know

.LASTS.
Last cigarette: never
Last car ride: tonight
Last kiss: uh... last week?
Last good cry: last week
Last movie seen: god. Constantine? i think.

Last beverage drank: Canada Dry
Last food consumed: food at the retirement party i was at.
Last crush: lets not go there.

Last phone call: Fresca...last night.
last chirp: whats a chirp?
last time showered: this afternoon
Last shoes worn: brown sandals
Last cd played: left handed thieves in the car...otherwise none iPOD.
Last item bought: taco bell yesterday.
Last annoyance: mother.
Last disappointment: not being allowed to go out tonite. being stood up.
Last time wanting to die: sometime this past week.
Last time scolded: this afternoon in the car.
Last shirt worn: blue tank top right now.
Last website visited: dell.com
Last phrase you said: bye to my mom
Last song you sang: sugar were goin down. fall out boy. in the car last night.

What color socks are you wearing? barefoot.

What kind/color underwear are you wearing? blue. that say "angel" on them.
What's under your bed? Nothing. my bed frame doesnt have space to put anything under it.
What time did you wake up today? 8:00 then fresca drove me home then i drove to pick up my mom.
Where do you want to go? somewhere other than here. to college preferably.
Where do you live? Manlius...boringville, USA
How many kids do you want? hmm... idk. 2 or 3?
What kind of car(s): SUV, camaro convertible like my dads, some sort of classic car.
Current mood: eh. wishin i wasnt here filling this out.
Current music: none
Current taste: none
Current hair: down, brown, straightened
Current clothes: navy blue tank top, khaki skirt
Current annoyance(s): people. the world. hahaha
Current desktop picture: orangeness. its my sisters computer. mine has a picture of me and LAURA!
Current book: i just finished SUMMER BOYS which was interesting.
Current color of toenails: light pink
Current time: 10:09
Current hate: everything
Current love: none

UNIQUE --

1. Nervous Habits? do sweating and turning red count? i dont get nervous very often not even in front of lotsa a people.
2. Are you double jointed? yeah in my fingers.
3. Can you roll your tongue? Yep
4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time? yep
5. Can you blow spit bubbles? yeah
6. Can you cross your eyes? Yea
7. Tattoos? maybe in the nea future.
8. Piercings and where? my ears, i wanna get my nose done but itll hafta wait a few months. maybe an eyebrow
9. Do you make your bed daily? Nope

-- LA LA LAND --

What's your sleeping position? On my left/right side, on my back
Even in hot weather do you use a blanket? Yea
Do you snore? not that i know of. people lie and say i do.
Do you sleepwalk? nope
Do you talk in your sleep? nope
Do you sleep with stuffed animals? theyre on my bed. so i guess so. even though i can sleep without them.
How about with the light on? nope
Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on? yeah, i usually set my tv sleep timer.
Have a crush? kinda. yeah. but ive never met him. he goes to my college. and ive talked to him quite a few times. hes cute.
Do you like to sneeze? haha what kinda question is that?

Sat, 13 Aug 2005 00:27:21 GMT

AUGUST:
outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. no self control. kind hearted. self confident. loud and boisteroius. VERY revengeful. easy to get along with and talk to. has an "everything's peachy" attitude. loves screaming, talking and singing. loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. loves to flirt. hates being left out. hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be loved. hates studying. in need of "that someone". longs for freedom. rebellious whe withheld or restricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring. always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to a specail person. stubborn. courious. independent. strong willed. a fighter.

so i found this thing that describes who you are based on the month you were born in. i think its pretty darn correct. im basically all of those things. amazing. but no im not A BITCH. my friends seem to be turning into a bunch of em. cept Thelma shes my partner in crime who honks at cute boys as we drive by. hahaha

Thu, 11 Aug 2005 23:47:57 GMT

it must be written all over my face.
Heather...you're a horrible selfish person and have no purpose what made you think you were so great?

once again. bored on a thursday night. prolly a rerun of the OC tonite. b/c who doesnt love seth cohen?
i read the book SUMMER BOYS all day. i found it in my sisters room. its kinda one of those cheezy teen novels but it really wasnt that bad. i found it pretty comparable to how my summer has been.

anyways. yeah thats all for now.

B-DAY COUNTDOWN: 14 days
IONA move in day: 16 days

<3 yay.

Wed, 10 Aug 2005 03:00:05 GMT

it must be written all over my face.
Heather...you're a horrible selfish person and have no purpose what made you think you were so great?

whats gotten into me...i havent the slightest idea. i went shopping today and bought beautiful new clothes. and got lunch at quiznos. this whole taking my cellphone away thing is SERIOUSLY taking a toll on me. i mean its taken a HUGE plummet on my social life. im doomed until i leave for school. ugh. this sucks.

highlights of the week?
saturday i get to be reunited with my boyfriend from when i was in preschool. we were like inseparable from age 1-5. this should be interesting.
sunday is shopping day. waterloo premium outlets all freakin day. then out to dinner and some fancy schmancy restaurant.

oh and joy. i work for 5 hours doing NOTHING on friday. i swear if i wasnt making well over minimum wage id have a cow.

bum bum bum

Mon, 08 Aug 2005 22:02:11 GMT

at work. again. ugh boring. but after im gonna go get laura. b/c she brightens my mood. idk whats with me today. ive just been like BLAH. im not like excited or happy about anything. which is pretty out of the ordinary especially for me. im usually off the walls and happy about stupid stuff. i think i need a new boy. god i love boys. they make me happy. its like when me and diedre were talking... how you can hate them one day and love them the next...but when theyre not around you just feel ugh. id rather have them around then not. im just so ready to leave. 19 days. i mean i love my friends mucho but like its as though were growing apart simply b/c were all leaving. this summer really is like a waste of my time. theres nothing interesting to do. ive spent way too much time in my room thinking. i miss being busy. as much as i hate being busy when im not its so dull. but i have shopping on sunday to look forward to *grins* a whole new look for college. im psyched. i should prolly start packin my stuff up since i have waaay too much stuff to begin with. and go through my clothes and get rid of what i dont want and stuff. *sigh* seriously. theres something wrong with me. someone needs to slap me in the face. or gimme a hug and be like WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU! haha. i need some good music to drive and sing along to. hmmm...

insanity.

Mon, 08 Aug 2005 03:53:51 GMT

here we go again. the insanity hits me like a ton of bricks. its like all of a sudden i have a really good day and i come home and start blaming myself for things that didnt even happen or for people not wanting to talk to me. its like i look at my buddy list and just wait for the person i know i wanna talk to to talk to me first....and if they dont i automatically classify them as not interested in being my friend anymore. if i played this game with myself and actually convinced myself enough to believe they werent my friend and took them off my buddy list...id be down to like 2 friends.

its like all the boys of my past too. the ones i know are absolutely know are no good for me yet i still think about what could have happened. i think its basically normal. stupid chick flicks. they make me think. i watched Ever after w. Diedre. it was good since i hadnt seen it in awhile. and i ate toast b/c for some reason i had a craving. so we came up with cheezy new ways to spell things "the french way". haha with fake french accents. like "i leuuuve toste" hahaha was quite the funny time. and we questioned why chicken is called poultry and why cows are called beef. we're wierd. im gonna miss her. my roomates im convinced are gonna hate me b/c im a tomboy. ill be the trademark bitch of the group. itll be like the real world and ill be Tanya. hahaha. oh god. yeah i think ill go write some poetry or something. and watch A knights tale. heath ledgers hot. haha<3

Sat, 06 Aug 2005 14:39:41 GMT

so last nite was the left handed thieves & vapor aevum show. and 2 other unknowns. it was pretty awesome. i love hannah she just turns every situation into an excuse to dance. haha. I got to hang out w. Jon who'd actually never heard them before and we were both pretty impressed with VA. left handed thieves are like gods to me. i love phil. i got another fabulous phil hug. but i always feel like so awkward. its like "hi how ya doin? good." *walk away* its like hard to think around him. must be his overpowering intimidation provoked by his overall beautifulness. haha that was really cheezy. but overall awesome show. so i came home to an empty house which would be any teenagers dream but im one of those people who cant stand to be alone. i like always need someone to talk to. i always thought i was wierd because of it but i guess im not alone. and im afraid of the dark so being home alone i had every single light in the house on. haha. so i talked online till like 1:30 when i realized shit i hafta work in the morning. so here i am. sitting at my desk at work doing....NOTHING! i love getting paid $8 an hour to do nothing. it makes me feel... lucky. hahaha. i work at my aunts gym just in case anyones curious. i fold towels and thats basically it. easy cash. but i really want some taco bell right now. its scary that i actually get cravings for it now. nothing compares. i love it.

19 days till IM 18 AAAAAAHHHHHH.
21 days till i leave...sadness.
i love my friends<3

What tree did you fall from? hahaha

Sat, 06 Aug 2005 14:20:12 GMT

PINE TREE (the Particular) - loves agreeable company, very robust, knows how to make life comfortable,
very active, natural, good companion, but seldom friendly,
falls easily in love but its passion burns out quickly,
gives up easily, everything disappointments them until it finds its ideal, trustworthy, practical mate.

sounds basically....TRUE. how ironic. hahaha.

bah

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 21:01:22 GMT

im such a loserface. no freakin joke. i fell for another 2 weeker. pathetic. haha those poems i wrote make me laugh. just looking at him makes me sick now. wth kinda drugs was i on. not that hes an ugly guy. i just dont get how i didnt see it. I WAS FREAKIN BLIND. i mean yeah it was nice. but ANOTHER FREAKIN 2 WEEKER. im cursed to be with guys for 2 weeks. every freakin guy. 2 weeks. then its just ends. i seriously think i do get bored. like at first its all happy and yay! then either they turn out tob ean asshole or theyre just not that interesting or i just get "bored". this time i got played but thats another story. but eh NOW I FEEL BETTER! yay. b/c my fabulous great friend jon who isnt really a guy hes one of those "inbetweeners whose too nice to be a guy". hahaha. and were goin to the show tonite. and i get to see all the people i love. and make me happy. woo! yes. thank god. if i didnt go id like cry my eyes out. for like ever. and ill get a phil hug. and ill be like YES!. oh man mood just bounced back up to the ceiling with happiness. but i have a headache so. BYE!

haha leave me a nice comment. and if u wanna be my friend. ADD ME.